allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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