But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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