i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
