The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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