I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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