you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
