Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
