He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
