I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
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Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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