So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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