guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
