I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
