is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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