It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
