never play flip cup with pint glasses
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
