Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
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Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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