What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
