Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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