This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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