Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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