Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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