hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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