I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize