Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
