So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
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You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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