i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
