One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
one two three fourrrrnication!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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