I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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