Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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