Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
