idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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