where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
