We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
