you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
