So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
