When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
