your parents love me but you hate me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
