Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
