Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
