I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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