We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
