You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
