I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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