You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
