Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.

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(804): View more from Virginia

IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT

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(802): View more from Vermont

Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk

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(954): View more from Florida

My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina

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(908): View more from New Jersey

HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.

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(480): View more from Arizona

After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.

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