we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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