I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
