I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
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I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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