The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I will be naked everywhere
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
