Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We need to get me chipped asap
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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