just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
