i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
