so explain again why im purple
no
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
