This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
