They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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